Monday, April 30, 2007

The tumor is too close to his brain ...



Have you ever gotten bad news and someone says, "oh, at least he's alive or didn't lose a limb" or "hey, it didn't spread to his chest so that's good" or "ok, he'll just learn to chew on the other side" or "ok, his eye will be lost but he'll adjust better than humans" or "we'll just start chemo and he'll have 18-24 months to live".

With each passing bit of information - and as you can tell, it got much worse each time - I cried, then took a deep breath, and dug into my research. The phone calls, the emails, the support, the prayers. Yes, please pray for Kerby. His strength. My strength. For God's Will ....

But have you ever heard that "it's too close to his brain" or "we can't get clear margins" or "there could be severe hemorrhaging during surgery". WOW, this is a lot to handle folks!

I hadn't known that last week when I made this decision to go ahead with the surgery (partial maxillectomy + eye removal). I based my decision on what the oncologist told me. He saw the CT scan. He read the reports. He was closest to the information ... or so I thought.

I'll never forget my regular vet told me that it doesn't sound right for the 18-24 months life span. She said I need to know what the possibility is to get clear margins during the surgery? Huh, what does that mean? I wrote that down too. I have sticky notes everywhere!

So that's when I left message for the surgeon this morning and got her call at 4pm. She reviewed the CT scan closely. The tumor that is on the other side of the back molar, near his eye & nose is so close to the brain. The plan with tumors is always to remove 1cm around to get a clear margin (at least in this case). She doesn't think this will happen b/c tumor is so close to brain. The 18-24 months is based on clear margins. So what does this mean Dr. Duval? She also informed me that a major complication during this surgery is hemorrhaging. WHAT? And I wasn't told this last week? Is the left hand talkin' to the right hand here or what the ...?

So, Dr. Duval (surgeon) will be speaking with Dr. Hamilton (oncologist) tomorrow to see if THIS FREAKIN NEWS changes Kerby's life span. If so, I may be changing my mind about the May 2nd surgery. I don't know if oncologists don't normally get into such "minutia" about where the tumor is located before spewing out life spans? I don't know if he reviewed the CT scan with the surgeon? I don't know why this information was not shared with me earlier. Then again, I have a day to decide don't I? I have time. Kerby ... well, I don't know. I think a lot will be said when I get the phone call Tuesday from GVS.

In the meantime, I got home tonight, gave Kerby a treat. He then, as always, swooped up his toy. As I gave him hugs, I noticed his white toy had blood all over it. HOLY MOLY ... I got dressed fast, put my shoes on, ready for anything. I put my finger in his mouth ... WOW, those tumors are massive! But I did see a little blood. Ok, calm Kerri. Wait a few minutes. Could be b/c the crunchy treat scratched his tumors. That must've been it. The blood stopped. Looks like I'm starting him on "soft treats" from now on, and wetting down his dry food.

What a day ... and in a way, this is all just the beginning. I don't know how much more I can handle.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Kerri...

I'm sorry the news wasn't better. I do hope you get some resolution of all the differing opinions and that you can formulate a plan.