Tuesday, July 10th
What a day ... I think I cried enough tears today to fix Georgia's draught! On the way to bringing Kerby to GVS this morning, I heard Daughtry's song, "I'm Going Home" and with Kerby on my lap, I was convinced that was God asking me to "lend" Kerby to Him. I cried. Then leaving Kerby and driving to my office, I spoke with the 2 men in my life and hyperventilated to both of them. I cried - boy did I cry a river. Got in my office and told folks the deal. Again, I cried. Went to lunch and they all chatted about their loving dogs. I cried ... a lot. I got hugs from my coworkers and pats on my back. I cried.
I was making the decision to not go ahead with any more surgeries. I can't "put Kerby" thru anything else. But then Kerby's dad told me that I need to fight one last fight. How can I not? Last night, Kerby wagged his tail and gave me kisses for God's sake!!! Ok, he peed on himself but ahhh, that's nothin'. I got KISSES from Kerbs. He is being strong and then so do I need to be.
My heart actually feels relieved and sort of "happy" (errr, happIER is probably the better term) that I made the decision to go ahead with the surgery.
Wednesday, 1st thing in the morning, I bring Kerby back to GVS so Dr. Duval, the surgeon, can remove Kerby's tumor ONCE AGAIN. Last time, she said the tumor was so close to the brain that she is not sure she can get "close enough margins AROUND the tumor" to get rid of all the cancer. This remains the case ... and probably was the case the 1st time. Hey, either hit the brain or not get all the cancer out? Hmmm ... glad I'm not a surgeon ....
Anyway, as I'm typing, Barry White's song comes on ... an anthem of mine of sorts. It's my song for Kerby:
"you've given me much more than words can ever say, i'll be right here to your dying day, i just know that i love you so and it gives me such a thrill. i'm never ever gonna give you up, never gonna stop, i'm never ever gonna quit cause quittin just ain't my stick, i'm never gonna stop all the things i feel about ya...."
Mommy loves you Kerby. Don't quit ... nor will I ....
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2 comments:
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