Friday May 18th
Once Kerby got his stitches removed it was okay to get him groomed and boy did he need it. He was all haphazardly shaven on his leg from the i/v, his side from the morphine patch to his face obviously where they removed his back upper jaw (on his right side). While I am not crazy about how he looks all shaven, he needed it. And it made me realize just HOW MUCH weight he lost! WOW - he's never looked this skeleton. It actually worries me a bit. So this morning, I decided upon myself to put Kerby back on his regular food - at least incorporate it. This is his "hard kibbles" dry food - and I'll mix it with his soft food. He, of course, ate it all! He probably weighs about 15-16 lbs where he's normally 20lbs.
Anyway, I'm at a strange point in my life right now. I am grappling with the notion that I may not even be able to have human kids of my own (i get my own surgery on June 14 to remove fibroid tumors ....). This is sorta surreal. Are my dealings with Kerby going to be my only experience with "children"? Can I even have kids? Will there even be someone willing to want to be the father of my children? If I cannot bear little ones, then at least I know what it's like to love and nurture and care for and pray for and cry for and research for and live for another being. I thank you God for this experience .... You may be telling me something, and I may be learning something. May we all "listen" .....
Once Kerby got his stitches removed it was okay to get him groomed and boy did he need it. He was all haphazardly shaven on his leg from the i/v, his side from the morphine patch to his face obviously where they removed his back upper jaw (on his right side). While I am not crazy about how he looks all shaven, he needed it. And it made me realize just HOW MUCH weight he lost! WOW - he's never looked this skeleton. It actually worries me a bit. So this morning, I decided upon myself to put Kerby back on his regular food - at least incorporate it. This is his "hard kibbles" dry food - and I'll mix it with his soft food. He, of course, ate it all! He probably weighs about 15-16 lbs where he's normally 20lbs.
Anyway, I'm at a strange point in my life right now. I am grappling with the notion that I may not even be able to have human kids of my own (i get my own surgery on June 14 to remove fibroid tumors ....). This is sorta surreal. Are my dealings with Kerby going to be my only experience with "children"? Can I even have kids? Will there even be someone willing to want to be the father of my children? If I cannot bear little ones, then at least I know what it's like to love and nurture and care for and pray for and cry for and research for and live for another being. I thank you God for this experience .... You may be telling me something, and I may be learning something. May we all "listen" .....
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