Chemo starts today

Wednesday, May 16 (2 weeks after surgery)
I took Kerby in to get his stitches removed which was a no-brainer 2 minute procedure. Then we got to see Dr. Hamilton again, the oncologist. His 1st comment to me was, "Boy aren't we glad he didn't have his eye removed?" I was thinking, uh yeah, thanks for scaring me half to death ....

Anyway, looks like we got all the cancer in the immediate area around the tumor in his mouth. There most likely is cancer somewhere ELSE in his body - b/c the time a tumor of his magnitude is found, the likelihood of cancer elsewhere is high. But we know now it's not in his chest. I need to get chest x-rays every 3 months to check this.

So we talked about the 3 types of chemo available for Kerby who is about 18 lbs now.
1. Cisplatin - $406 each treatment (he would need 3). What I don't like about this drug is that Kerby needs to be hooked up for 8 hrs to an i/v and given lots of fluids. This causes increased urination and more importantly kidney damage.
2. Carbolatin - $260 each treatment (he would need 3).
3. Adriamycin (doxorubicin) - $215 each treatment (he would need 3).
The last 2 have similar side effects: vomit, loss of appetite, lethargy, low white blood cells.

The doc suggested the "longest life span" combination of chemo is using both #1 & #3. It's also the most expensive & I really don't like the "kidney and urination" factor. The next choice would be to administer #2 & #3. I am tired of asking "how long will he live" b/c all I ever get are stats and honestly, stats are just that. I have a small dog with cancer in the MOUTH. Most OSA cancer dogs (and hence the stats) are for larger dogs with cancer in the limbs with amputations. Different story ... Not "KERBY'S STORY". I also asked why he wants to give TWO drugs vs. just one agent. He said that #2 and #3 effect the DNA "differently", both in a positive way. I dunno, sounds like 2 agents are better than 1.

I had the choice of "going home to think about it." My 1st thought was, yeah I'll do that and email my bone cancer friends .... but then I remembered how tired I am of making such huge decisions and analyzing way too much. So I left Kerby there this morning .... to get his 1st of 6 chemo treatments. He goes every 3 weeks. Alternating Carboplatin 1 time and then Adriamycin the next time. 6 total chemo shots. I drop him off in the morning, pick him up after work. Sounds easy. ugh.

Well, I got home tonight with Kerby. He looks good. Does seem a little lethargic though but it could be b/c he was in a cage all day at the vet - which he totally hates. Actually he looks really tired so I held him in my arms.

THIS is when it all hit me and I broke down crying. CHEMO? I am giving my dog CHEMO? I've always heard of chemo and thought, dang this is the end of someone's life. Man, I just held Kerby and cried! I cannot BELIEVE I am giving my baby CHEMO. 1 year? 6 months? 2 years? Dancer, Jasmine - how did they do? I am afraid, truly. Somehow I feel this is the beginning of the end. CHEMO! I know in my heart I am doing the right thing for Kerby. He remains a fighter. My fighter. Who knows ... maybe if I were married and had human children, this wouldn't be a huge deal. And to those who think I'm a freak for going thru this and having Kerby go thru this, and spending $5000 to date ... well too bad. I wish all of you the chance to love something, or someONE as much as I love my Kerbs. Till next time .....